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The Pursuit Of Playoff Happiness; Fan Insurance |
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The Pursuit Of Playoff Happiness; Fan Insurance
Some of you may call me crazy for this, but the truly savvy investors will surely agree. When it comes to the playoffs ALWAYS BET AGAINST YOUR TEAM!
When the Devils and Canes face off this weekend to open their best of seven series, my Fan Duel account will have a sizable wager on the Carolina series money line. This theory here is foolproof in my eyes. If the Devils win the series, I cash out(figuratively) in euphoria. If the Hurricanes win, I will cash out in a literal sense. If the Devils do advance, repeat the process the next round with a bet that at very least breaks you even, or get frisky and double down. And so on and so forth. Stick to my plan and at the end of the playoffs, you’ll either have a fistful of cash or a Stanley Cup Championship!
Imagine the Devils lose to Carolina in six games, it will be sad (and very likely), but you’ll have half of your season tickets paid for. The misery of the loss sure lessens when you finally have the expendable cash for that Kevin Dean Game Worn Jersey you always wanted in your collection. Think about it, the Devils have three cups in 42 seasons, that means if you purchased fan insurance over the entirety of the franchise, you have a 39-3 record!
My Grandmother always said, “if you’re not gonna get laid, you might as well get paid.” She was of course talking about me either working a Saturday night at the local liquor store, or going out to a random bar with no female prospects, nothing at all to do with the Sportsbook. However those words have never held more weight than when making this decision. Let’s be honest the roller coaster, Jack Hughes-less, Devils winning the cup isn’t going to happen this year. As a matter of fact over 90% of the time the team you’re cheering in for in any sport, isn’t going to win it all. So go get paid! Like Ben Affleck said in the 2000, cult classic, Boiler Room, “whoever says money can’t buy happiness, doesn’t f***in’ have any.”
Think about it, isn’t wiping your tears with blue faced hundreds more fun than using that mustard stained sleeve on your Brian Rolston sweater? Maybe after this year’s postseason you could even buy a new jersey, or at least have the extra coin to send that dank garb to the dry cleaners for the first time since the 1995 Cup parade. Follow my system and you won’t regret it…
PS: My Grandmother never said the aforementioned quote above, but I really needed an analogy that would resonate with the fanbase.
Always remember a few rules: Bet with your head, not with your heart. Bet with your head, not over it.
If you or someone you know has or may have a gambling problem call 1-800-GAMBLER
Stay tuned for my first round preview which will be live by Saturday AM!
LET’S GO DEVILS!
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